Dog: I AM SORRY BABY HUMAN! DO NOT CRY ANYMORE! i SHALL BRING YOU MORE TOYS
I really fucking hate it when guys act like marriage is literally the end of their lives like if it’s so fucking bad, and you hate it so much, don’t get fucking married and put your spouse through hell because you’re shit. If you feel trapped you’re doing it wrong.
Filed under: Sitcom Tropes That Need to Go Away Forever
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin
you will never know which of these two statements reign true for people who reblogs this and that bothers me
well everyone knows I’m not a virgin so
Sleeping is always better when you have someone to cuddle with…
sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to uni
oh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do both
also we don’t have enough jobs for you
There is no greater Guardians/Parks & Rec gif mashup than this.
Hey remember that one time I didn’t give a fuck what assholes thought and I decided to wear whatever the fuck I want because I’m pretty damn cute? Cuz I sure do.
Jesus christ your cute
MISSING: Ataui Deng has been missing for 10 days. She was last seen in the Lower East Side of New York City. She is 5 feet 10 inches tall and slim. If you see her please email FindAtaui@gmail.com. Thank you
to my beautiful son, i leave this picture of a sweet dragon i found on google images when i typed in cool dragons